Today is the second anniversary of my blog! Time flies! There is a huge difference between today and how I was in 2018, but I am sure that I will go up many rungs maybe until I reach the peak. I have some questions as an Arab woman from the upper of Egypt, with illiterate milieu, tribal roots, a thirty-year-old woman “SPINSTER”, self-made, simple, strong-headed, studious, ambitious, willing to knock down all the obstacles, still down to earth, still ethereal, and spiritual too as a monotheist first and a muslim who is enjoined to befriend all and respect everyone’s choice, the question is why are you following this blog? Do you enjoy what you read here? Will this blog blossom? Have your standpoints changed about Arabs even the bare minimum? Do you think I am equal to any educated woman on earth? Will objectification be stopped? Will I get where I want to be? Will I get a scholarship to pursue my study abroad? May I be a CEO someday?! Will I get married to someone who is willing voluntarily to serve love, support, equality, and respect at the table of that sacred tie? Will you accept me? Will I coexist peacefully with my flaws and afflictions? A lot of questions and they always lead to the same labyrinth!
Hola friends and I am waiting for your answers!
At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.
That woman exists everywhere in my life. You have noticed her picture on my notebook, on my laptop, she exists also on my cellphone background,etc! She inspires me to move forwards and never look behind my back.
Life transfixed her and thrusted me too. She was the odd one out as I am now! Her legs were crooked and I have my defects too.
She could paint and survive, while I am still struggling to get rid of those superficial veneers.
She let her story take wings, I solicit succour as my stamina can’t take it anymore!
Frida turned her misery into unbelievable paintings, I may build up my walled garden too but I have to pay upfront.
Ironically, I did and I will keep doing so as long as I feel my humanity without any objectification.
How rootless I feel, the more I read and learn from life and books.
I am still a toddler, but the difference between now and before is choosing being thrusted voluntarily not forcibly.
We are portable memories accumulated over the years and some unforgettable experiences.
Thanks coronavirus as it proves how inert we are. It has become a homewrecker suspending and cancelling everything around, but its implications would never be expunged as we better value disguised blessings now. Do not take anything for granted!
Thanks 2020 as it showered my life with bounty and prosperity alhamdulillah. Life is too short!
Allah does not change a people’s condition unless they change what is in their hearts
And this is what I was doing through the last two years. In retrospect, I think I was the most melancholic person on earth, but then I realized how oblivious I was! Through that process of evolution and getting out of my cocoon, I have learnt a lot about myself and my milieu. I had to sift my beliefs out from what they call “traditions”. Staying low-key for some time is a must especially if you are surrounded with showy, bigoted, and ultra people. I did my best to ameliorate many things around and there was no panacea for my life. Thanks for having a place to vent on as a nonentity’s story may inspire. At the end, an empty vessel clangs the loudest, so please move forwards with enthusiasm and determination and rewards will definitely come in your path!
No human being can be more human than another human being. I liberate you from my ignorance!
I am so grateful for having such a job which allows me to mingle with those wonderful women. Those women have been deprived of education and that air of independence and freedom I currently enjoy. These feelings did not happen overnight as I had to pay upfront and stand lonely during the last seven years. I have tribal roots, but I usually have that feeling of being rootless. Maybe it stems from being single so far. Girls who do not get married at age 25 considered leftovers and spinsters, but people show me respect and courtesy while I will be turning 30 after three months. I have discovered that we convey the message to others about the methodology of decently treating or mistreating us as WOMEN. We are the preys and the perpetrators.
Where I live, women care much about gold, banquets, dowry, and trousseau! we have to buy such and such not to make others belittling us. we should buy twenty bed sheets, ten quilts, four kitchen gadgets, two kids’ rooms even before consummation, mats, spacious flats, etc even if you are insolvent since you have to do so!. Egyptians usually say ” الجواز ستر” which means marriage is a protection for women, but those are mere restraints.
Marriage is a bundle of clemency, love, unwavering support, and equality. It is not an arena to wrestle with others or to show off while you are paraplegic and suffocated with debts and ignorance. Recently. I get used to witnessing such situations and gladly I have met Mona. Mona is a divorced woman and a mother of three-year old child. She can read and write but she is living on the dole for divorced women and it is pittance unfortunately! Mona and I had many conversations together as we are at the same age but with different priorities and standpoints. She has experienced bitterness as he ex-husband was thrusting her daily for months. Now, she is living with her parents and siblings serving them without any attention to her needs nor pain.
If I did not know Islam well, I would curse my religion! But Islam came down to eradicate the customs and traditions of Arabs. We were objectified as we were goods and chattels inherited to anyone. I think our bygone is insurmountable as those traditions defiantly and forcefully encase our religion and deliberately obliterate it! In Islam the most sinful things are taking orphans’ rights and wrongly smearing women’s reputations. I have also met Fatima with her broken fist as her father kept beating her until she gave him money. Should we bear any filial love towards our parents without receiving their paternal compassion in the first place?? Should I feel loony and offbeat as I do not think much of being married or having a child? I am not an ostrich inclining to bury myself under any circumstances. My relationship with human beings is neither trustworthy nor sustainable. I enjoy being woman from the upper with those tribal roots as they are gurus to stand up against such superfluous superficiality.
Life is lived only once. but experiences are perennial. We are mere portable memories and we voluntarily choose whether to discard or to carry all the way. We are blessed to be WOMEN as we are equals only walk side by side and go hand in hand. Thankfully, my goes have come in handy and I finally feel success and contentment.
That picture is taken from another fellow, so excuse me my friend 🌻
Similar to the prophets, the enlightened souls also neither belongs to the community or scientists nor to the camp of unaware and stagnant masses. They are aware and responsible individuals whose most important objective and responsibility is to bestow the great God-given gift of “self- awareness” (khod-agahi) to the general public. Only self-awareness transforms static and corrupt masses into a dynamic and creative cantor, which fosters great genius and gives rise to great leaps, which in turn become the springboard for the emergence of civilization, culture and great heroes. For ruining a fact, do not attack it, defend it badly!
A lot of things we can do through this crazy time. Please read to make that world bearable. Covid19 is a lesson, and history is full of many lessons, but we never heed intentionally or unintentionally! Those are 100 books, so read and fathom well.
Before the internet, the gap was wider as each community was well-versed in its traditional lore only. Now, you can make friendship with people overseas while you are plopping down on your sofa through your cellphone. Nonetheless, we are suffering from those trolls behind their keyboards!
Two years ago, an Egyptian cook has decided to take her hijab off. I could not make out people’s demeanor when they scorned and understated her. She was called a spinster looking for a groom, they suspected her faith without any deference! Her decision was personal, but trolls insisted on making it a religious matter!
Mo Salah, the Egyptian football player posted a picture of his daughter while she was playing on the piano. The comments revolved around religion and Islamic nurture. Their comments exuded their ignorance of religion and its essence.
Dina Tokio has decided to take her hijab off as well. As a Muslim blogger, her decision was not her own. Therefore, people have decided to threaten, insult, and send their pernicious messages to her.
A month ago, I read the news and there was a survey of British people’s acceptance of Muslims and hijab as compatriots like anyone else there. The majority claimed that hijab symbolised backwardness, and this would never represent their country, especially after its long-term battle to spread freedom and justice.
For me, all these scenes have ignited an important question about religion, and whether we preserve it, or it protects us from that ingrained brutality. It was profound as I always thought of religion away from any tales or fecund imagination.
In 2019, I was eager to read religious books away from any tales or prejudice. I have found some books and thankfully the riddle got unraveled. Every religious rifle was a result of a political conflict and a paranoid ruler. Religions are based on the same pillars of mercy, care, worshipping, fasting, alms, and the afterlife. The last messenger is our debate. There is another life in another realm and we all want to experience it as human beings, and monotheists with different hue, physiognomy, and religions. God wants us to be different, so we have to coexist with each other.
After I read some books, I came up with some conclusions;
- First and foremost, Everyone is held accountable for their deeds here and in the hereafter. This message is an allusion to dissuade those trolls as accountability is sole!
- The first cosmic covenant what matters the most. Allah enjoined Adam to worship, supplicate, and befriend all human beings.
- If religiosity does not better you, so you definitely misunderstand it.
- I have to neither witness your ugliness, nor make my phone kosher to stave off such things. Therefore, I have decided to give up using my Facebook account.
- Read the study Quran book. It is the best Quranic commentary I read, especially for those who have some ambivalence towards Islam.
- Read Reza Aslan’s books, no god but God, Zealot, and god; a human history. This author helped me fathom how we have disfigured religions with our chauvinism and bigotry. He is a Shiite Muslim who was Christian before. His books are page turners and enlightening, especially for a sunni woman who has never mingled with Shiites.
- As a feminist, kecia Ali and her books about sexual ethics in Islam. Some thorny issues such as the dowry, concubinage, and slavery. Kecia did answer a lot of profound questions as a Muslim woman.
- Good Muslim, bad Muslim book astounded me. The cold war, opium industry, the socio-economic mutation of Islam from a mere religion to a political identity, and the Middle East has become an arena. The inception of militant groups, explosions, and fundamentalism are expressed in detail in this book.
- Finally, who witnesses wars and survives, will suffer from its dregs until they pass away.
Thanks for your embrace and time!
“People are enemies for what they do not know”. Seven years ago, I was one of those people; insular unable to digest differences. Ostensibly, it is our nature to avert what we have no idea about. Death, for example, is ambiguous whatever our beliefs. You believe as a Christian, Muslim, and Jew in the Day Of Judgement. For atheists and others, bodies are cremated converting into ashes or simply going to decompose without believing in paradise nor hell. Remembering death is not a nice thing to talk about but it is inevitable and somehow restful!
How much have I changed through these years? A lot! How many things have got unfolded before my eyes? Most of them! Am I still chauvinistic appreciating only my surrounding? Not in the least. I have been learning through defying ambiguity and deleting that word “CIRCUMSTANCES” from my own dictionary as we can not step down from living our lives. Changes match only with adversities and bitterness.
It took seven years of my age to be that person who I enjoy its company today. Four years were spent on awaiting for life to sweeten, while the other three years were spent on stripping my soul to keep only the childish part and getting rid of what had sapped me for years. Therefore I aired my mind to forget stale notions that never served my life. Mingling with the handicapped people was the last phase of my spiritual growth and mental health.
Now, I am poised to move up with a pure soul and a receptive mind. Failures and patience are parents of my resilience and strength. Unexpectedly, self-aggrandizing is the byproduct of that long-term process. Everyone is a mere companion, I may ask your advice, but you would never have the upper hand. I may open up, but that does not mean surrender. As I have learnt English from scratch on my own, I can do more with the reminder of downplaying those attainments.
“The fruit of the thought is safety”. Finally, reaping this fruit was arduous and deceitfully uneventful. However, those years what make me more humane. I am grateful for landing up where I am now.
“Life without struggles is like a tiger without stripes” indeed life does not believe in alibis. You have to savour firsthand rather than recieving futile commands even from well-versed people. Life is even-handed befalling everyone equally. The quota of scourges may differ in the shape, but believe me, it has the same calibration of pain and aches.
It churns my stomach when I think of my life and how much I am lagging behind my peers. However, these years were the price to get to where I am today. Actually, it is a paltry one in comparison with what I have learnt. Indeed, the world is your oyster having no limit to the opportunities open to you!
“Life consists of two days, one for you one against you. So when it’s for you don’t be proud or reckless, and when it’s against you be patient, for both days are test for you.”, Imam Ali.
Dear my friend,
Get rid of that relic, don your persistence, and then tread your path. Composure happens after boiling, melting, and many jolts. At the end, our to-do list is still full and there are many miles to go before we sleep.
Do not falter, do not grieve!
Everything is a double-edged sword having its yin and yang. Sometimes human beings misunderstand the cosmic message neglecting its essence. Therefore, regret is meaningless as we never lose. We may leave this world without getting the answer, and the importance of our question gradually dwarfs when we gain sagacity. Regret is a byproduct of hindsight, and an insidious hindrance. Winning stipulates playing. Who never savours failure, would never appreciate the taste of success. Yes. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to, but still the catalyst to better your life. Shackles are the real gurus.
Born a crime book, Trevor Noah.
The ousted Egyptian President has died. I believe that he was not our representative, but he was the elect. As we know the now- banned Muslims brotherhood and our former president’s affiliation with them. It reminds me of good Muslims and bad Muslims book when Mahmoud Mamdani illustrated the conversion of Islam from a religion to a political identity.
A devastating war between the United States of America and the Soviet Union, and the arena is the Middle East. You may say Islam commands Muslims to fight non Muslims. Well, you are mistaken, my friend! We believe in the first cosmic covenant between God and Adam when Allah enjoined him to worship, supplicate, and befriend all human beings. There were neither massacres nor brutality.
Muslims are enjoined to seek jihad. Ironically there are no crusaders as jihad is divided into two parts. The first one, the lesser, commands Muslims to seek knowledge wherever it is “أطلبوا العلم من مكانه”. The greater struggle enjoins Muslims to fight poverty until we get rid of it. Therefore, Al-Qaida, Taliban,ISIS, and Muslims brotherhood are intruders as we are not allowed to prosecute nor judge others as long as we do not witness ourselves nor they confess. We are not held accountable for other’s deeds. Everyone will deal with the consequences of their own behaviour in this life and will be accountable to God on the Day Of Judgement.
“Did Israel’s army, using dozens of tanks and armored personnel carriers, along with hundreds of missile strikes from US-supplied Apache helicopter gunships, besiege Jenin’s refugee camp for over a week, a one-square-kilometer patch of shacks housing 15,000 refugees and a few dozen men armed with automatic rifles and no missiles or tanks, and call it a response to terrorist violence and a threat to Israel’s survival?” It was Mahmoud’s question about Palestine and Israel.
That book encapsulates what is going on now, and describes terror as a political and sociological mutation. Hopefully, we are going to bridge the gap someday. Our planet is oval with no dimensions and our intellect should do so. Homogeneity is gruesome and irrelevant to the first cosmic covenant!