No More Cocoons

Things do not go well whether they are educational, professional, or personal issues. Living in a place where people starve and struggle to make ends meet due to the recent unprecedented plight of USD and the highest inflation rate we are dealing with. As most of you know that I got rejected from the scholarship to pursue my master’s degree with no despair or grudge as I will keep applying until I get admitted. Professionally, in Egypt work is not managed by efficiency but rather by nepotism and by being loyal to your managers and supervisors even if this means accepting their insolence and intrusion with pleasure! I am studying for six hours daily in order to leave this ranch and never deal with these beasts. These are not insults as they always behave violently with no mindfulness. Personally, after my father’s death, I still cannot turn off the lights before I go to sleep as I cannot forget seeing him dead and shrouded before his burial. It was the last time I saw him silent with no screams out of pain but with all the faith and being a monotheist, death is ambiguous and difficult to digest as long as I am still in a different realm.

My appearance has changed a lot! I put on weight and depression looks like my closest company who would not leave soon. Life is playing its abhorrent game of giving things then harshly snatching them. I want to retrieve the old Gehad; I mean the old appearance with the current mindset. I even think negatively about my value as a woman but human beings are the most valuable creatures on earth. I try to regain my spirits, ambition, enthusiasm, trust, and confidence. I have started to eat healthily and enjoy taking myself to the place where I would mingle with like-minded people and through that process I will snatch my self worth and water it as much as I can. I would befriend honesty, self-care, and authenticity. I would abandon hypocrites, filters even those in my camera!, and self doubt.

Live and love ๐Ÿ’˜


24 thoughts on “No More Cocoons

  1. Wishing you all the strength you need to push through your challenges. I feel youโ€™re already doing a lot of self-reflection and making it work. InshaAllah you will fulfil your dreams as long as you keep them in focus and overcome the obstacles. Life was never meant to be a smooth road and the challenges you meet and overcome are all making you a stronger person. Women often get a raw deal but thatโ€™s what makes us even more amazing. Be the change you want to see in this world. May Allah always grant you emotional, physical and spiritual strength to bear the torch for so many other women behind you. X

    Liked by 3 people

  2. You are a great storyteller.
    Iโ€™m sure youโ€™ll find the energy to keep fighting for the place you deserve on your own terms. Wherever you feel empowered and surrounded by love๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You’re truly an inspiration. It must be hard and takes a lot for a woman to stay strong when facing the bumpy roads in this harsh world. I pray that you’ll be surrounded with love and good things in life that could help you to keep going ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That is true, it is indeed something hard to deal with sometimes. But we are creatures of Allahโ€™s design and Evolution. We are going to be challenged, all of us, from time to time, on different levels. In my experience, it is preparation for bettering you for delivery to the Hereafter โ€ฆ which we all go to when we are deemed Ready to Go by Allah. There, Miracles happen.
      When I had my NDE, I was shown what it was like to be inside of Hell (for Secret reasons that I will release over time). The point was to steer me away from doing any further sins. And we all have to face a degree of that. Even Jesus spent some time in Hell. And he is Pure.
      So, be prepared for obstacles, and keep the Faith! An effort to be your best at being Holy is a great accomplishment! I wish the BEST for youโ€ฆ in Trial, Error, Learning, and Success!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Thank you for beautifully put your thoughts into words. Yes, we are the creatures of Allah and the purpose of our existence is to please none other than Him ๐Ÿ’• That’s the reason why we have to keep learning and continuously prepared ourselves for the upcoming obstacles and trials, which is none other than to ensure that we are truly prepared for the Hereafter. Moreover, the trials and obstacles given by Allah is a sign that He truly loves us. I wish the best for you too ๐Ÿ’

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I appreciate hearing your thoughts. It sounds like things have been quite difficult, but you are persevering nonetheless. Better days are out there. Keep on, keeping on. Your words are an encouragement and a testimony.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Thank you for this thoughtful post. While you and I are different in so many ways, I do understand what depression feels likeโ€“we definitely have that in common. Blessings to you as you move forward in your life.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. My heartfelt condolences regarding the death of your father. Youโ€™re in my prayers. Just keep moving forward and donโ€™t forget that no matter how much this life can hurt us that God is stronger than any pain we experience in this life. May God bless you and keep you in His merciful and loving care always.

    Liked by 1 person

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