Insecure Women And Their Hostility Towards Us!

Often people that say they “don’t care” actually do. The moment they discuss you with their friends and family, compete with you, bad mouth you to others or react to anything you do or say is when they give themselves away. You can either be saddened or flattered that you effected someone so much. The perspective is yours to determine.

― Shannon L. Alder

It has been a week since I got involved in an abhorrent situation with my female colleague. Insecure women can not stand mingling with outstanding people, especially women because they realize how miniature they are! She is the sister of my manager’s wife (YES. YOU READ IT CORRECTLY!!!). She was working in another department totally different from our work, but due to the restructure; a lot of departments have been centralized and many employee had to leave their jobs moving to branches and another departments.

She is truly an Arab inclining to nepotism and mobs’ acts. She always comes to work late and no one would blurt out a word. She usually says good morning then screams at my colleagues’ faces because of nonsense, for example, one of them touched her office or did anything relating our job without taking her permission. She has no experience in our field, but her ties allowed her to have the upper hand on important business. Sometimes, I feel she still lives in the era of servitude! Imagine that she kept screaming at my face before others only because I was talking with my new colleague helping her with some papers!!!! She offended me saying nonsense and I have not complaint, then she officially complained me to the manager (HER RELATIVE) purporting that I lack respect and decorum when I talk to her!! Mohamed FIRE HER!!! I hate those people who ride waves. She knows well how conspicuous I am. I have the potentiality to get promoted within a couple of months. I cried like a homeless child. I felt crippled and pathetic and why??? from whom?? someone with no value!!!

Five years ago, I would involuntarily accept such a situation suspecting my demeanor. Now, I am a different person, secure, successful being chosen amongst hundreds and it is only because of my diligence as I have no relatives there to support me. I am a humanitarian believing in everyone’s right to live, work, opine, etc without transgressing others’ rights or trampling on their feelings! Would the Middle East change? Would our ambience get ameliorated? Recently, videos of violence and domestic abuse have become quotidian.

A syrian girl got lynched because she tainted her family’s reputation in the name of love. When retardation would stop speaking loud? When nepotism would fade away paving the road to qualified youths only? When will I be able to serve freely? When will I get the opportunity to flee getting a prestigious degree then come back to get rid of such nonsense! Deep down I know that I will win. That hopeless girl was able to learn English on her own. That pathetic girl was capable of bearing a lot of afflictions peacefully. That girl has been selected amongst hundreds to attend an interview deciding whether to be the decision maker where I work or not. I am still waiting for the result but still unable to fathom their hatred. Do you know that I have been working on my skills for a decade? A girl from the countryside belonging to illiterate family thinking of education as a luxurious thing, so what about planning to traveling overseas to pursue my education singlehandedly! Does success coincide only with sadness and obstacles? Now I know the behind celebrating them after having many gashes but they are still alive and survive. Life goes by but Allah would never forget your cruelty! To Allah we belong and to him we shall return.

The Meaning Of Motherhood In The Arab World And How It Has Changed Recently!

Allah does not charge a soul except with that within its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred.”

An Egyptian woman who is single has decided to adopt a child and bring him up singlehandedly! She is an author, a well-known figure in Egypt. Ironically, her fame is based on a blog called “I want to be a bride”. She created this blog 15 years ago introducing herself as a single woman belonging to a group of other women aged from 25 to 35 years old whom are their society’s scrutiny and pressure to get married. I think I am one of them now as a thirty-year old! This coincides with an unbelievable video of a husband who stabbed his wife because she wanted to get divorce. News of a wife killed her husband unintentionally because he bought her one air conditioner not two as she desired! An accident of a doctor who was suffocated by her husband before her children as he usually abused her, but this time the result was lethal!

Women do not need wombs nor sperms to be real mothers within the lukewarm wedlock! It is an instinct we do have from the Almighty Allah, so children don’t ask for titles, lineages, nor names. They only need a shoulder to lean on, a cuddle away from judgemental people, a guru to teach him/her how to dust off themselves when life thrusts them. They will be also their mothers’ crutches in the future. Marriage is a blessing but it is not a hindrance to experience life as long as we don’t perform something prohibited or offensive! Alha for being a monotheist belonging to our forefather Abraham, Adam, and Eve. Alhamdulillah for knowing that we are mortals and everything is transient!

They are dead, we are dead! Therefore, we are woven into the same tapestry of life voluntarily and peacefully! Do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be! Life is beautiful.

Congratulations Ghada and Adam! I wish you all the best here and in the hereafter together, ameen!

A Quiz!

Today is the second anniversary of my blog! Time flies! There is a huge difference between today and how I was in 2018, but I am sure that I will go up many rungs maybe until I reach the peak. I have some questions as an Arab woman from the upper of Egypt, with illiterate milieu, tribal roots, a thirty-year-old woman “SPINSTER”, self-made, simple, strong-headed, studious, ambitious, willing to knock down all the obstacles, still down to earth, still ethereal, and spiritual too as a monotheist first and a muslim who is enjoined to befriend all and respect everyone’s choice, the question is why are you following this blog? Do you enjoy what you read here? Will this blog blossom? Have your standpoints changed about Arabs even the bare minimum? Do you think I am equal to any educated woman on earth? Will objectification be stopped? Will I get where I want to be? Will I get a scholarship to pursue my study abroad? May I be a CEO someday?! Will I get married to someone who is willing voluntarily to serve love, support, equality, and respect at the table of that sacred tie? Will you accept me? Will I coexist peacefully with my flaws and afflictions? A lot of questions and they always lead to the same labyrinth!

Hola friends and I am waiting for your answers!

Welcome Your Guests!

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Unorthodox, The Scandalous Rejection

As far as I can remember, I have always wanted everything from life, everything it can possibly give me. This desire separates me from people who are willing to settle for less. I cannot even comprehend how people’s desires can be small, ambitions narrow and limited, when the possibilities are endless

Deborah Feldman~

Some Anecdotes About Women I Have Met Recently!

  

 No human being can be more human than another human being. I liberate you from my ignorance! 

     I am so grateful for having such a job which allows me to mingle with those wonderful women. Those women have been deprived of education and that air of independence and freedom I currently enjoy. These feelings did not happen overnight as I had to pay upfront and stand lonely during the last seven years. I have tribal roots, but I usually have that feeling of being rootless. Maybe it stems from being single so far. Girls who do not get married at age 25 considered leftovers and spinsters, but people show me respect and courtesy while I will be turning 30 after three months. I have discovered that we convey the message to others about the methodology of decently treating or mistreating us as WOMEN. We are the preys and the perpetrators.

     Where I live, women care much about gold, banquets, dowry, and trousseau! we have to buy such and such not to make others belittling us. we should buy twenty bed sheets, ten quilts, four kitchen gadgets, two kids’ rooms even before consummation, mats, spacious flats, etc even if you are insolvent since you have to do so!. Egyptians usually say ” الجواز ستر” which means marriage is a protection for women, but those are mere restraints.


   Marriage is a bundle of clemency, love, unwavering support, and equality. It is not an arena to wrestle with others or to show off while you are paraplegic and suffocated with debts and ignorance. Recently. I get used to witnessing such situations and gladly I have met Mona. Mona is a divorced woman and a mother of three-year old child. She can read and write but she is living on the dole for divorced women and it is pittance unfortunately! Mona and I had many conversations together as we are at the same age but with different priorities and standpoints. She has experienced bitterness as he ex-husband was thrusting her daily for months. Now, she is living with her parents and siblings serving them without any attention to her needs nor pain.

If I did not know Islam well, I would curse my religion! But Islam came down to eradicate the customs and traditions of Arabs. We were objectified as we were goods and chattels inherited to anyone. I think our bygone is insurmountable as those traditions defiantly and forcefully encase our religion and deliberately obliterate it! In Islam the most sinful things are taking orphans’ rights and wrongly smearing women’s reputations. I have also met Fatima with her broken fist as her father kept beating her until she gave him money. Should we bear any filial love towards our parents without receiving their paternal compassion in the first place?? Should I feel loony and offbeat as I do not think much of being married or having a child? I am not an ostrich inclining to bury myself under any circumstances. My relationship with human beings is neither trustworthy nor sustainable. I enjoy being woman from the upper with those tribal roots as they are gurus to stand up against such superfluous superficiality.

Life is lived only once. but experiences are perennial. We are mere portable memories and we voluntarily choose whether to discard or to carry all the way. We are blessed to be WOMEN as we are equals only walk side by side and go hand in hand. Thankfully, my goes have come in handy and I finally feel success and contentment.

That picture is taken from another fellow, so excuse me my friend 🌻

Read On My Behalf Please!

A lot of things we can do through this crazy time. Please read to make that world bearable. Covid19 is a lesson, and history is full of many lessons, but we never heed intentionally or unintentionally! Those are 100 books, so read and fathom well.

The link;

https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsbOT8tkbgZ9gUske4ow_YjNeRiA?e=eZJ6pk

 

 

Marriage What Makes Our Lives, As Women, Uneventful!

Definitions belong only to the definer, not the defined.

She may be called a spinster in the Middle East, or a leftover in the Far East which elucidates how sketchy her self image is without a man. Ironically, if a man does not get married, it is because he is not willing to do so. On the other hand, if a woman does not get married, this means she is a relic, a surplus, etc!

every society accumulated layer upon layer of cultural ideas and norms that have little to do with biology. Societies associate a host of attributes with masculinity and femininity that, for the most part, lack a firm biological basis!

In a larger space, for example in North Korea, the sexes become segregated. At mealtime, the women huddle together over a low wooden table near the kitchen, eating cornmeal, which was cheaper and less nutritious than rice, the preferred staple of North Koreans. The father and son eat rice at their own table.

At the time, girls are not supposed to ride bicycles. There is a social stigma. People think it unsightly and sexually suggestive, and periodically the Workers’ Party have issued formal edicts, making it technically illegal.Therefore, if a girl rode a bicycle, men would try to pass her on their bicycles, cursing her for her audacity.
“You’re going to tear your cunt,” they would scream at her. Ironically, North Korea is not a religious country, but it is as abhorrent as the Arab world.

Ostensibly, objectification turns us, as women, into a burden which prompts the society to get rid of even if the ring will turn into handcuffs!

Without marriage, the rhythm of your life will get cacophonous. However, marriage is a contract which is based on mutual consent between a man and a woman to fulfil their sexual needs and support each other. There are neither slaves nor masters. It is an equation of caretaker with woman’s resourcefulness.

The picture shows what was prohibited for women in the medieval history because of culture and only culture! We still have miles of illumination to go before we sleep.

Happy Women’s Day

Thanks for every figure who taught us the importance of self-aggrandizing. The importance of dwelling in our cocoons until we get acquainted our real selves. Thanks for not clipping wings, letting us wander, and thrust between your relic “yesterday” and our future. Thanks for the slaps, ridiculing our entitlement, and your timing to get things done. Without savouring these, I would never have such familiarity with my new self. Obstacles are made for those who are incapable of keeping pace with the present. I am still fetching, wandering, but deep down satisfied with what I have done and still. Allah honoured me to instill, and give a hand to those who are less privileged than me. Therefore, do not ever question my entitlement as a woman. I can be your unwavering comrade and your warmest figure according to the situation. You choose which one to be by your side. Do not believe in the surface as it is a protection against beasts.

Happy Women’s Day.