Things do not go well whether they are educational, professional, or personal issues. Living in a place where people starve and struggle to make ends meet due to the recent unprecedented plight of USD and the highest inflation rate we are dealing with. As most of you know that I got rejected from the scholarship to pursue my master’s degree with no despair or grudge as I will keep applying until I get admitted. Professionally, in Egypt work is not managed by efficiency but rather by nepotism and by being loyal to your managers and supervisors even if this means accepting their insolence and intrusion with pleasure! I am studying for six hours daily in order to leave this ranch and never deal with these beasts. These are not insults as they always behave violently with no mindfulness. Personally, after my father’s death, I still cannot turn off the lights before I go to sleep as I cannot forget seeing him dead and shrouded before his burial. It was the last time I saw him silent with no screams out of pain but with all the faith and being a monotheist, death is ambiguous and difficult to digest as long as I am still in a different realm.
My appearance has changed a lot! I put on weight and depression looks like my closest company who would not leave soon. Life is playing its abhorrent game of giving things then harshly snatching them. I want to retrieve the old Gehad; I mean the old appearance with the current mindset. I even think negatively about my value as a woman but human beings are the most valuable creatures on earth. I try to regain my spirits, ambition, enthusiasm, trust, and confidence. I have started to eat healthily and enjoy taking myself to the place where I would mingle with like-minded people and through that process I will snatch my self worth and water it as much as I can. I would befriend honesty, self-care, and authenticity. I would abandon hypocrites, filters even those in my camera!, and self doubt.
I wish you a very happy new year full of prosperity and happiness. There is still much time ahead of us to learn and develop ourselves. The current financial plight results in many who cannot make ends meet including my people (The Egyptians), but we are hoping for a better tomorrow with exertion and dedication. All the best in every endeavour insha’Allah and let this year be fulfilling and filled with lots of milestones.
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice. meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes. because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
“Allah does not charge a soul except with that within its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred.”
An Egyptian woman who is single has decided to adopt a child and bring him up singlehandedly! She is an author, a well-known figure in Egypt. Ironically, her fame is based on a blog called “I want to be a bride”. She created this blog 15 years ago introducing herself as a single woman belonging to a group of other women aged from 25 to 35 years old whom are their society’s scrutiny and pressure to get married. I think I am one of them now as a thirty-year old! This coincides with an unbelievable video of a husband who stabbed his wife because she wanted to get divorce. News of a wife killed her husband unintentionally because he bought her one air conditioner not two as she desired! An accident of a doctor who was suffocated by her husband before her children as he usually abused her, but this time the result was lethal!
Women do not need wombs nor sperms to be real mothers within the lukewarm wedlock! It is an instinct we do have from the Almighty Allah, so children don’t ask for titles, lineages, nor names. They only need a shoulder to lean on, a cuddle away from judgemental people, a guru to teach him/her how to dust off themselves when life thrusts them. They will be also their mothers’ crutches in the future. Marriage is a blessing but it is not a hindrance to experience life as long as we don’t perform something prohibited or offensive! Alha for being a monotheist belonging to our forefather Abraham, Adam, and Eve. Alhamdulillah for knowing that we are mortals and everything is transient!
They are dead, we are dead! Therefore, we are woven into the same tapestry of life voluntarily and peacefully! Do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be! Life is beautiful.
Congratulations Ghada and Adam! I wish you all the best here and in the hereafter together, ameen!
Your sickness is from you, but you do not perceive it and your remedy is within you, but you do not sense it.You presume you are a small entity but within you is enfolded the entire Universe.You are indeed the evident book, by whose alphabet’s the hidden becomes manifest. Therefore you have no need to look beyond yourself. What you seek is within you, if only you reflect.
“Life without struggles is like a tiger without stripes” indeed life does not believe in alibis. You have to savour firsthand rather than recieving futile commands even from well-versed people. Life is even-handed befalling everyone equally. The quota of scourges may differ in the shape, but believe me, it has the same calibration of pain and aches.
It churns my stomach when I think of my life and how much I am lagging behind my peers. However, these years were the price to get to where I am today. Actually, it is a paltry one in comparison with what I have learnt. Indeed, the world is your oyster having no limit to the opportunities open to you!
“Life consists of two days, one for you one against you. So when it’s for you don’t be proud or reckless, and when it’s against you be patient, for both days are test for you.”, Imam Ali.
Dear my friend,
Get rid of that relic, don your persistence, and then tread your path. Composure happens after boiling, melting, and many jolts. At the end, our to-do list is still full and there are many miles to go before we sleep.
Yesterday I was reading the Qur’an and its commentary. I came across a sentence and contemplated its meaning a lot. The sentence was about the difference between human beings and other beings and the reason behind our superiority over them. We are the chosen ones because we have emotions. Yes! You read it correctly.
Emotions which enable us to comprehend actions and reactions. Emotions are a bundle of love, hatred, envy, empathy, anger, fear, serenity, etc. It is about the ability to be in your shoes. Without emotions, I would never be able to understand your angst . However, these emotions are the source of cruelties and crimes in the name of protection and love. How many times did we go astray because we misunderstood our emotions? How many times did we convey the wrong message of love to our beloved ones? How many times did we transgress in the name of sparing our own life?
Emotions what make human beings stand up for each other because we savoured life’s bitterness before. We are living in adjacent condos, without feelings, we would never overcome the walls in order to make friends, have spouses, witness our children, etc. How cruel this life would be with robots only obey commands without any feelings. Your heart is the real scale not your brain. I was mistaken when I thought the opposite many years ago.
The more space my heart gets, the more aware I become refraining from overseeing and judging others. Yes! I am higly ranked in the ecosystem because of that organ and its intelligence to differentiate. I have all the vibes, and the ability to choose what suits my ranking, and what relegates my humanity. The compass is in my hand, and I choose which direction to walk in. I am so grateful for having such journey. May Allah forgive me when I flounder but surely I will be back again.
Have a nice day and a peaceful life my friends and hola after months of not posting anything!