Unorthodox, The Scandalous Rejection

As far as I can remember, I have always wanted everything from life, everything it can possibly give me. This desire separates me from people who are willing to settle for less. I cannot even comprehend how people’s desires can be small, ambitions narrow and limited, when the possibilities are endless

Deborah Feldman~

Simply Live Your Life!

At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.

That woman exists everywhere in my life. You have noticed her picture on my notebook, on my laptop, she exists also on my cellphone background,etc! She inspires me to move forwards and never look behind my back.

Life transfixed her and thrusted me too. She was the odd one out as I am now! Her legs were crooked and I have my defects too.

She could paint and survive, while I am still struggling to get rid of those superficial veneers.

She let her story take wings, I solicit succour as my stamina can’t take it anymore!

Frida turned her misery into unbelievable paintings, I may build up my walled garden too but I have to pay upfront.

Ironically, I did and I will keep doing so as long as I feel my humanity without any objectification.

How rootless I feel, the more I read and learn from life and books.

I am still a toddler, but the difference between now and before is choosing being thrusted voluntarily not forcibly.

We are portable memories accumulated over the years and some unforgettable experiences.

Thanks coronavirus as it proves how inert we are. It has become a homewrecker suspending and cancelling everything around, but its implications would never be expunged as we better value disguised blessings now. Do not take anything for granted!

Thanks 2020 as it showered my life with bounty and prosperity alhamdulillah. Life is too short!
Viva Frida🌻

Your Sickness Is From You

Your sickness is from you, but you do not perceive it and your remedy is within you, but you do not sense it.You presume you are a small entity but within you is enfolded the entire Universe.You are indeed the evident book, by whose alphabet’s the hidden becomes manifest. Therefore you have no need to look beyond yourself. What you seek is within you, if only you reflect.

Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib

Arabism Is A Hindrance And A Pretext For Stagnation!

Allah does not change a people’s condition unless they change what is in their hearts

Quran~

And this is what I was doing through the last two years. In retrospect, I think I was the most melancholic person on earth, but then I realized how oblivious I was! Through that process of evolution and getting out of my cocoon, I have learnt a lot about myself and my milieu. I had to sift my beliefs out from what they call “traditions”. Staying low-key for some time is a must especially if you are surrounded with showy, bigoted, and ultra people. I did my best to ameliorate many things around and there was no panacea for my life. Thanks for having a place to vent on as a nonentity’s story may inspire. At the end, an empty vessel clangs the loudest, so please move forwards with enthusiasm and determination and rewards will definitely come in your path!

Some Anecdotes About Women I Have Met Recently!

  

 No human being can be more human than another human being. I liberate you from my ignorance! 

     I am so grateful for having such a job which allows me to mingle with those wonderful women. Those women have been deprived of education and that air of independence and freedom I currently enjoy. These feelings did not happen overnight as I had to pay upfront and stand lonely during the last seven years. I have tribal roots, but I usually have that feeling of being rootless. Maybe it stems from being single so far. Girls who do not get married at age 25 considered leftovers and spinsters, but people show me respect and courtesy while I will be turning 30 after three months. I have discovered that we convey the message to others about the methodology of decently treating or mistreating us as WOMEN. We are the preys and the perpetrators.

     Where I live, women care much about gold, banquets, dowry, and trousseau! we have to buy such and such not to make others belittling us. we should buy twenty bed sheets, ten quilts, four kitchen gadgets, two kids’ rooms even before consummation, mats, spacious flats, etc even if you are insolvent since you have to do so!. Egyptians usually say ” الجواز ستر” which means marriage is a protection for women, but those are mere restraints.


   Marriage is a bundle of clemency, love, unwavering support, and equality. It is not an arena to wrestle with others or to show off while you are paraplegic and suffocated with debts and ignorance. Recently. I get used to witnessing such situations and gladly I have met Mona. Mona is a divorced woman and a mother of three-year old child. She can read and write but she is living on the dole for divorced women and it is pittance unfortunately! Mona and I had many conversations together as we are at the same age but with different priorities and standpoints. She has experienced bitterness as he ex-husband was thrusting her daily for months. Now, she is living with her parents and siblings serving them without any attention to her needs nor pain.

If I did not know Islam well, I would curse my religion! But Islam came down to eradicate the customs and traditions of Arabs. We were objectified as we were goods and chattels inherited to anyone. I think our bygone is insurmountable as those traditions defiantly and forcefully encase our religion and deliberately obliterate it! In Islam the most sinful things are taking orphans’ rights and wrongly smearing women’s reputations. I have also met Fatima with her broken fist as her father kept beating her until she gave him money. Should we bear any filial love towards our parents without receiving their paternal compassion in the first place?? Should I feel loony and offbeat as I do not think much of being married or having a child? I am not an ostrich inclining to bury myself under any circumstances. My relationship with human beings is neither trustworthy nor sustainable. I enjoy being woman from the upper with those tribal roots as they are gurus to stand up against such superfluous superficiality.

Life is lived only once. but experiences are perennial. We are mere portable memories and we voluntarily choose whether to discard or to carry all the way. We are blessed to be WOMEN as we are equals only walk side by side and go hand in hand. Thankfully, my goes have come in handy and I finally feel success and contentment.

That picture is taken from another fellow, so excuse me my friend 🌻

Ali Shariati

Similar to the prophets, the enlightened souls also neither belongs to the community or scientists nor to the camp of unaware and stagnant masses. They are aware and responsible individuals whose most important objective and responsibility is to bestow the great God-given gift of “self- awareness” (khod-agahi) to the general public. Only self-awareness transforms static and corrupt masses into a dynamic and creative cantor, which fosters great genius and gives rise to great leaps, which in turn become the springboard for the emergence of civilization, culture and great heroes. For ruining a fact, do not attack it, defend it badly!

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I against my brother. I and my brother against my cousin. I, my brother, and my cousin against the world (Arab Proverb)

Spot-on my friend! We should dispose of hatred and tribalism as human beings and as Arabs. We are meant to be different.

Creator Villa

Arab warriors fighting against the world
Bedouins in Battle.

The sequence in the title comes from a famous Bedouin proverb. The Bedouin were militarized Arab nomads who inhabited the deserts of Jordan, Syria, Iraq, and Saudi Arabia prior to the development and sedentarization of the early 20th century. The proverb captured how human beings have conducted themselves for the great majority of recorded history. Human beings are tribal, and the basic unit of the tribe is the immediate family. Beyond the immediate family, people form loyalty ties based on kinship. However, there is a problem with this system. First of all, it implies people are always in conflict with others. And second, it implies that every human being will have an enemy in the great majority of people on earth. Indian-American novelist and author of The Sweetness of Tears, Nafisa Haji, captures some of this tension.

There is an old Arab Bedouin saying: I, against…

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Read On My Behalf Please!

A lot of things we can do through this crazy time. Please read to make that world bearable. Covid19 is a lesson, and history is full of many lessons, but we never heed intentionally or unintentionally! Those are 100 books, so read and fathom well.

The link;

https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsbOT8tkbgZ9gUske4ow_YjNeRiA?e=eZJ6pk

 

 

Savour Everything

I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me, too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.

Frida Kahlo

 

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Discern Well My Fellows!

Grief is the most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.
― Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha.

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There Is No Paradise on Earth

The point of this language of “intention” and “personal responsibility” is broad exoneration. Mistakes were made. Bodies were broken. People were enslaved. We meant well. We tried our best. “Good intention” is a hall pass through history, a sleeping pill that ensures the Dream.
Ta-Nehisi Coates

George Floyd astounds me as I thought Khaled Saeed; the Egyptian George would never be seen in the greatest nation as it is only ours. Thrusting and Smacking human beings happen only to Arabs where order is woven in the tapestry of life. I know well that there is no paradise on earth, but at least your racism is not blind and somehow even-handed! Hopefully, your cries and revolution will not be attempted and light will be awaiting for you at the end of the tunnel to breathe freely. Life is in pairs, so every beginning has an end; sometimes it blossoms, and sometimes calamity is only a spur to evolve!

Street Sign Tolerance versus Rassism
Wall Graffiti the Direction Way to Tolerance versus Rassism

Even Covid19 Has Pros And Cons.

Develop in your heart the feeling of love for your people and let it be the source of kindliness and blessing to them. Do not behave with them like a barbarian, and do not appropriate to yourself that which belongs to them. Remember that the citizens of the state are of two categories. They are either your brethren in religion or your brethren in kind. They are subject to infirmities and liable to commit mistakes.Imam Ali

Look how inert we are today because of covid19. It is a lesson to value everything and to reshuffle our priorities. Instead of wars, missiles, bombs, factions, brutality, etc, we are in a battle with a domineering and an imponderable organism which will overturn a lot of things after its disappearance. Consternation has become our company walking side by side when we go out or talk to people and this is a great lesson to value reassurance.

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As an Arab woman who belongs to a bigoted family and tribal roots, I know well the meaning of paralysis, the bitterness of stillness for more than seven years, but to witness it globally is unexpected. Covid19 is much better than human beings as it is even-handed inflicting princes, ministers, inmates, and vagabonds. Covid19 is blind catapulting whites, blacks, monotheists, and atheists!Ironically, I am blossoming mentally and emotionally because I am making some progress at work. Scourges were spurs to forge ahead with my plans, The pandemic will be a spur too to redress our mistakes as human beings.

we should do away with all forms we inherited from the past which clamp themselves like chains around our wrists, feet, spirit, thoughts, will and vision.

I am a daughter of an illiterate woman who devoted herself to raise me and my siblings to become lawyers, a doctor, and a banker. I thank that woman for giving me what she was deprived of. I and my sister would face the same destiny of Nujood Ali. In the upper of Egypt, concubinage is still happening in the name of traditions and customs.

Thankfully, my mother was unintentionally a reformer who wanted to moved forward without toppling down others’ pedestals or statues until we safely passed by. Within a few days my mother will turn 51 years old and I have promised her to travel together but covid19 has become the master. It was a long break and I invested it in work and reading some books about women, misogyny, religions, and I found out a great book “Fatima is Fatima, Ali Shariati” and here are some mesmerising quotes from the book,

“They try to explain social traditions, which have come into being through habit, in religious terms. Ancient customs cannot be retained by the force of religion for if this were so, it would mean that religion is mortal. When we equate religion and social traditions, we make Islam the guardian of declining forms of life and society. We mistake cultural and historical phenomena with inherited, superstitious beliefs. Time comes along, and as it moves in haste, it changes habits, forms of life, social relationships, indigenous, historical phenomena and ancient, cultural signs. We mistakenly believe the Islamic religion to be these social traditions. Aren’t these great errors being committed today? Aren’t we seeing them with our own eves?”

“My father chose my name, and my last name was chosen by my ancestors. That’s enough, I myself choose my way.”

I apologise for the delay in answering your messages and emails as I was super busy. It was a long break, so I do not know if you still remember me or still interested in reading my blog!

Stay safe and blessed!