A Quote!

“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, eastern or western…divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”
― Shams Of Tabriz

The Meaning Of Motherhood In The Arab World And How It Has Changed Recently!

Allah does not charge a soul except with that within its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred.”

An Egyptian woman who is single has decided to adopt a child and bring him up singlehandedly! She is an author, a well-known figure in Egypt. Ironically, her fame is based on a blog called “I want to be a bride”. She created this blog 15 years ago introducing herself as a single woman belonging to a group of other women aged from 25 to 35 years old whom are their society’s scrutiny and pressure to get married. I think I am one of them now as a thirty-year old! This coincides with an unbelievable video of a husband who stabbed his wife because she wanted to get divorce. News of a wife killed her husband unintentionally because he bought her one air conditioner not two as she desired! An accident of a doctor who was suffocated by her husband before her children as he usually abused her, but this time the result was lethal!

Women do not need wombs nor sperms to be real mothers within the lukewarm wedlock! It is an instinct we do have from the Almighty Allah, so children don’t ask for titles, lineages, nor names. They only need a shoulder to lean on, a cuddle away from judgemental people, a guru to teach him/her how to dust off themselves when life thrusts them. They will be also their mothers’ crutches in the future. Marriage is a blessing but it is not a hindrance to experience life as long as we don’t perform something prohibited or offensive! Alha for being a monotheist belonging to our forefather Abraham, Adam, and Eve. Alhamdulillah for knowing that we are mortals and everything is transient!

They are dead, we are dead! Therefore, we are woven into the same tapestry of life voluntarily and peacefully! Do whatever you want to do. Be whoever you want to be! Life is beautiful.

Congratulations Ghada and Adam! I wish you all the best here and in the hereafter together, ameen!

A Quiz!

Today is the second anniversary of my blog! Time flies! There is a huge difference between today and how I was in 2018, but I am sure that I will go up many rungs maybe until I reach the peak. I have some questions as an Arab woman from the upper of Egypt, with illiterate milieu, tribal roots, a thirty-year-old woman “SPINSTER”, self-made, simple, strong-headed, studious, ambitious, willing to knock down all the obstacles, still down to earth, still ethereal, and spiritual too as a monotheist first and a muslim who is enjoined to befriend all and respect everyone’s choice, the question is why are you following this blog? Do you enjoy what you read here? Will this blog blossom? Have your standpoints changed about Arabs even the bare minimum? Do you think I am equal to any educated woman on earth? Will objectification be stopped? Will I get where I want to be? Will I get a scholarship to pursue my study abroad? May I be a CEO someday?! Will I get married to someone who is willing voluntarily to serve love, support, equality, and respect at the table of that sacred tie? Will you accept me? Will I coexist peacefully with my flaws and afflictions? A lot of questions and they always lead to the same labyrinth!

Hola friends and I am waiting for your answers!

Welcome Your Guests!

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.

Unorthodox, The Scandalous Rejection

As far as I can remember, I have always wanted everything from life, everything it can possibly give me. This desire separates me from people who are willing to settle for less. I cannot even comprehend how people’s desires can be small, ambitions narrow and limited, when the possibilities are endless

Deborah Feldman~

Simply Live Your Life!

At the end of the day, we can endure much more than we think we can.

That woman exists everywhere in my life. You have noticed her picture on my notebook, on my laptop, she exists also on my cellphone background,etc! She inspires me to move forwards and never look behind my back.

Life transfixed her and thrusted me too. She was the odd one out as I am now! Her legs were crooked and I have my defects too.

She could paint and survive, while I am still struggling to get rid of those superficial veneers.

She let her story take wings, I solicit succour as my stamina can’t take it anymore!

Frida turned her misery into unbelievable paintings, I may build up my walled garden too but I have to pay upfront.

Ironically, I did and I will keep doing so as long as I feel my humanity without any objectification.

How rootless I feel, the more I read and learn from life and books.

I am still a toddler, but the difference between now and before is choosing being thrusted voluntarily not forcibly.

We are portable memories accumulated over the years and some unforgettable experiences.

Thanks coronavirus as it proves how inert we are. It has become a homewrecker suspending and cancelling everything around, but its implications would never be expunged as we better value disguised blessings now. Do not take anything for granted!

Thanks 2020 as it showered my life with bounty and prosperity alhamdulillah. Life is too short!
Viva Frida🌻

Your Sickness Is From You

Your sickness is from you, but you do not perceive it and your remedy is within you, but you do not sense it.You presume you are a small entity but within you is enfolded the entire Universe.You are indeed the evident book, by whose alphabet’s the hidden becomes manifest. Therefore you have no need to look beyond yourself. What you seek is within you, if only you reflect.

Imam Ali Ibn Abi Talib

Arabism Is A Hindrance And A Pretext For Stagnation!

Allah does not change a people’s condition unless they change what is in their hearts

Quran~

And this is what I was doing through the last two years. In retrospect, I think I was the most melancholic person on earth, but then I realized how oblivious I was! Through that process of evolution and getting out of my cocoon, I have learnt a lot about myself and my milieu. I had to sift my beliefs out from what they call “traditions”. Staying low-key for some time is a must especially if you are surrounded with showy, bigoted, and ultra people. I did my best to ameliorate many things around and there was no panacea for my life. Thanks for having a place to vent on as a nonentity’s story may inspire. At the end, an empty vessel clangs the loudest, so please move forwards with enthusiasm and determination and rewards will definitely come in your path!

Some Anecdotes About Women I Have Met Recently!

  

 No human being can be more human than another human being. I liberate you from my ignorance! 

     I am so grateful for having such a job which allows me to mingle with those wonderful women. Those women have been deprived of education and that air of independence and freedom I currently enjoy. These feelings did not happen overnight as I had to pay upfront and stand lonely during the last seven years. I have tribal roots, but I usually have that feeling of being rootless. Maybe it stems from being single so far. Girls who do not get married at age 25 considered leftovers and spinsters, but people show me respect and courtesy while I will be turning 30 after three months. I have discovered that we convey the message to others about the methodology of decently treating or mistreating us as WOMEN. We are the preys and the perpetrators.

     Where I live, women care much about gold, banquets, dowry, and trousseau! we have to buy such and such not to make others belittling us. we should buy twenty bed sheets, ten quilts, four kitchen gadgets, two kids’ rooms even before consummation, mats, spacious flats, etc even if you are insolvent since you have to do so!. Egyptians usually say ” الجواز ستر” which means marriage is a protection for women, but those are mere restraints.


   Marriage is a bundle of clemency, love, unwavering support, and equality. It is not an arena to wrestle with others or to show off while you are paraplegic and suffocated with debts and ignorance. Recently. I get used to witnessing such situations and gladly I have met Mona. Mona is a divorced woman and a mother of three-year old child. She can read and write but she is living on the dole for divorced women and it is pittance unfortunately! Mona and I had many conversations together as we are at the same age but with different priorities and standpoints. She has experienced bitterness as he ex-husband was thrusting her daily for months. Now, she is living with her parents and siblings serving them without any attention to her needs nor pain.

If I did not know Islam well, I would curse my religion! But Islam came down to eradicate the customs and traditions of Arabs. We were objectified as we were goods and chattels inherited to anyone. I think our bygone is insurmountable as those traditions defiantly and forcefully encase our religion and deliberately obliterate it! In Islam the most sinful things are taking orphans’ rights and wrongly smearing women’s reputations. I have also met Fatima with her broken fist as her father kept beating her until she gave him money. Should we bear any filial love towards our parents without receiving their paternal compassion in the first place?? Should I feel loony and offbeat as I do not think much of being married or having a child? I am not an ostrich inclining to bury myself under any circumstances. My relationship with human beings is neither trustworthy nor sustainable. I enjoy being woman from the upper with those tribal roots as they are gurus to stand up against such superfluous superficiality.

Life is lived only once. but experiences are perennial. We are mere portable memories and we voluntarily choose whether to discard or to carry all the way. We are blessed to be WOMEN as we are equals only walk side by side and go hand in hand. Thankfully, my goes have come in handy and I finally feel success and contentment.

That picture is taken from another fellow, so excuse me my friend 🌻

Read On My Behalf Please!

A lot of things we can do through this crazy time. Please read to make that world bearable. Covid19 is a lesson, and history is full of many lessons, but we never heed intentionally or unintentionally! Those are 100 books, so read and fathom well.

The link;

https://1drv.ms/u/s!AsbOT8tkbgZ9gUske4ow_YjNeRiA?e=eZJ6pk

 

 

Savour Everything

I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me, too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.

Frida Kahlo

 

frida2

 

 

Calm Down

My lord, you have not given me what I was longing for even the bare minimum. You have made my fate in comparison with my hopes and wishes like a lantern among outnumbered stars. Glory be to God whether he gives or withholds. I am thankful that you have guided me towards wisdom. Grateful for realising that the light of the lantern is much stronger inside home than those far further stars. Stars which we can only see on the rooftop even if the sky is full of them.

When we suffer from life’s residues. Residues of combating afflictions and scourges. They have different modalities causing incurable fissures. They abate only when life gets better-off, but never evaporate! I would like to thank 1107 followers because they have decided to read my scribbles, and share my walled garden. I never expected having such followers within a few months. Thanks a million!

The Last Quarter of 2019

I have only three months to change some things in my life. First and foremost, I will look more at the mirror praising my facial features and challenging myself. Yes. I accept who I am, but I can be better. Three months to go on a vegan diet sounds good!

Secondly, let bygones be bygones, therefore I have unblocked some people and had good conversations with old friends. There was neither grudge nor envy. A lot of things have mystified me. I never stopped asking why? I was good! Why did they purport that? This was deleterious and utterly ridiculous! Do not look behind your back as definitions belong to the definers not the defined.

I finished reading all the books. They were informative and page-turner ones. Different genres including religious books, shiite and sunni Muslims, autobiographies, African Americans, apartheid, and politics. Finally, I do not see myself as a hollow pumpkin! Outlooks should be renewed otherwise you are an animated cadaver!

I deep down believe that life is a solo journey. Sometimes it transfixes you, and sometimes it insists on humiliating you! It is motley and full of contradictions. However, we always embrace and clutch to it.

Finally, the first chapter was long and somehow mundane. There is a feeling of happiness tinged with bitterness. I was trekking, and I will keep doing so. Nothing is absolute!

A Solo Journey

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. When I remember who I am, I read the prophet book, Gibran Khalil Gibran with the song, https://m.soundcloud.com/haydarhamid/dnlywl3n7wvy