No More Cocoons

Things do not go well whether they are educational, professional, or personal issues. Living in a place where people starve and struggle to make ends meet due to the recent unprecedented plight of USD and the highest inflation rate we are dealing with. As most of you know that I got rejected from the scholarship to pursue my master’s degree with no despair or grudge as I will keep applying until I get admitted. Professionally, in Egypt work is not managed by efficiency but rather by nepotism and by being loyal to your managers and supervisors even if this means accepting their insolence and intrusion with pleasure! I am studying for six hours daily in order to leave this ranch and never deal with these beasts. These are not insults as they always behave violently with no mindfulness. Personally, after my father’s death, I still cannot turn off the lights before I go to sleep as I cannot forget seeing him dead and shrouded before his burial. It was the last time I saw him silent with no screams out of pain but with all the faith and being a monotheist, death is ambiguous and difficult to digest as long as I am still in a different realm.

My appearance has changed a lot! I put on weight and depression looks like my closest company who would not leave soon. Life is playing its abhorrent game of giving things then harshly snatching them. I want to retrieve the old Gehad; I mean the old appearance with the current mindset. I even think negatively about my value as a woman but human beings are the most valuable creatures on earth. I try to regain my spirits, ambition, enthusiasm, trust, and confidence. I have started to eat healthily and enjoy taking myself to the place where I would mingle with like-minded people and through that process I will snatch my self worth and water it as much as I can. I would befriend honesty, self-care, and authenticity. I would abandon hypocrites, filters even those in my camera!, and self doubt.

Live and love 💘

Greedy Bellies, Hungry Hearts

Romanticism and materialism are by-products of categorisation, conflicts, wars, order, races, etc. Greedy bellies have converted us into mere expats fleeing from that suffocating periphery. Living up to people’s expectations causes greed, whilst we grow expats because social norms insist on leaving us adrift. Human psyche is easily acquainted with, but still difficult to be redressed.

Accounts on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Hellotalk,etc, are meant to be hearts’ food. Compliments and emoticons are tidbits would never make us full. To my way of thinking, relationships, especially, online ones are paintings relying on the painters. We are the painters who choose which one to show off, or dismiss, which is considered a masterpiece, or barely a scribble.

According to science, order is woven into the tapestry of life and it is something unchangeable as evolution occurs differently. However, religions have another standpoints that human beings are equal before Allah.

“And drive not away those who call upon their Lord morning and evening, desiring His Face. Naught of their reckoning falls upon thee and naught of thy reckoning falls upon them, such that thou shouldst drive them away and thus become one of the wrongdoers.”

This Quranic verse was reportedly revealed when a group of prominent Makkans indicated that they wished to join the Prophet’s teaching circle, but were loathe to sit among and be associated with some of Muhammad’s other followers who were of low social standing (including Bilāl and other freed slaves) and so asked the Prophet to send them away.

Universal trust: with money as a go-between, any two people can cooperate on any project.

Human beings believe that money is the key overshadowing hearts. I am deep down sure that there is a relationship between money and that void in our lives. Accumulation of one side will definitely shrink the other one. Ironically I have none of them, but that void is unbearable!