In Ramdan; the month of fasting and worship I decided to take IELTS, Academic module. I had aimed at achieving 8/7.5, but my exhaustion, tiredness due to long hours,lack of concentration and time management I could not finish task 1 in writing within time. I could only write 70 words, so I got penalised as I had to write minimally 150 words. 7 was a dream five years ago and impossible to get for someone like me. My family is virtually illiterate believing that women are destined to marry and procreate, otherwise our lives would be uneventful whatever we succeed at. However, I feel I am a big failure! Thinking of how many years I spent in learning and preparing. The exertion I did and the seclusion I preferred in order to concentrate on and absorb another language.
Yes. I have become more positive stopped thinking of my past life and its regrets. Yes. I have become more magnanimous towards who/what is different believing that it is the creator’s will to create us in such a way and it is amusing to live among others as long as no one transgresses. Yes. I have become down to earth and stopped bragging about anything as they are ephemera and I only contribute to their existence without possessing them. I am indebted to everyone who has taught me intentionally or unintentionally, kindly or insolently, willingly or not. I would never be who I am without you. Yes. I would resemble my people in my periphery and their simplicity, but simplicity does not suit every phase we embark on especially that one of ambition and adventure. One step to retake IELTS, two months for GMAT, and time to let the story take wings and fly away. I deep down believe that I would be a student at a leading university soon and inspire others to get rid of shackles, mirage, and obsolete traditions.
And among his wonders is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the diversity of your tongues and colours: for in this, behold, there are messages indeed for all who are possessed of [innate] knowledge. Qur’an~
The more you expose yourself and savour what you are not accustomed to, the more magnanimous you become especially when you witness others’ mistakes. One religion, one denomination, one hue, one tribe, one standard, one place, etc are allusions to superficiality and ignorance that’s why we are obliged to learn and search. The Arabian societies are full of bigoted parochial people because they are accustomed to dealing with what/who is homogeneous otherwise you would be under scrutiny and threats. I am always longing for the melting pot and shall live in such environs someday.
We are different cosmically and are woven in the tapestry of life voluntarily.
At the beginning I thought Arabs and especially Egyptians were the only bigoted and reactionaries. Christians celebrate their feast among weapons and armoured vehicles allegedly to protect them! Protect them from whom? Another monotheist? Strange!
O people, we created you all from a male and female
And made you into different communities and different tribes
So that you should come to know one another
Acknowledging that the most noble among you
Is the one most aware of God
Allah wants us to be different to coexist. I believe that our dilemma as Arabs is homogeneity. We look the same, have only one religion, and only one denomination “Sunni”. I am longing for that melting pot to know one another as vicegerents instilling peace not the opposite.
Unfortunately, I was mistaken as it is not only our issue. New Zealand mosque shooting was a proof. Today’s news about London mosque and Germany was another proof of our animalistic instinct and superficiality. Why do we want to despoil humanity of this planet? What do you gain from stabbing people while they are worshipping Allah? We, monotheists, pray to soothe our pain as everyone is treading in their path with its ups and downs. To be able to be in others’ shoes, we should pray, fast, give alms, etc!
A couple of days ago, I got furious because someone posted a moment describing the piety of her friend. Her friend detached herself away from any technology. She eats only rice and bread to value blessings well. She does not mingle with men as it is against her creed. I was amazed because Portraying religions and faith in such a way of solitude and austerity is totally wrong! We are not meant to exist in this world to avoid it or cocoon ourselves. We are here to coexist as vicegerents. There is repentance to tell us how merciful Allah is as he always accepts us. We should always consider the day of reckoning by working hard for it not by flogging ourselves.
Don’t choose to be an ultra because someday you will give up on this in an indelible way. Religions exist to dispense justice, peace, and welfare. Please contribute to this and never stand still concocting superficial excuses regarding your faith.
At the end I abhor politics, its endless covetousness, and its media outlets. The condition of our humanity is full-blown and dreary!