If you feel you are in the wrong place, desperate, anguished, unfulfilled, etc! so, this post is for you.
I spent 5 years after graduation jobless. I knocked all the doors after the revolution and it was all in vain. In September 2016, I realized how distressed I was and made up my mind to study English from scratch on my own as I hadn’t had any pound then. In 2018, I worked as a customer service representative in a call center. It was a dead-end job with pennies and unbearable work environment! My college colleague was a team leader there and we were not on good terms then, as a result I got fired because she alleged that I was cancelling calls intentionally. I have decided to resign before getting fired or penalised.
After two years, I have got a secured job in a public sector bank and still working there. Three months ago, I took IELTS, academic module with 7 overall.
Next month, I will be applying for a fully funded scholarship and one of the most prestigious and competitive scholarships globally. Being able to meet such criteria and apply is a great feat for someone like me from a family where most of them are illiterate, especially, women and chauvinism is prevalent. I am not genius or outstanding, but things have been doable because of exertion and dedication. Work hard and move ahead with perseverance as it DESERVES!
In Ramdan; the month of fasting and worship I decided to take IELTS, Academic module. I had aimed at achieving 8/7.5, but my exhaustion, tiredness due to long hours,lack of concentration and time management I could not finish task 1 in writing within time. I could only write 70 words, so I got penalised as I had to write minimally 150 words. 7 was a dream five years ago and impossible to get for someone like me. My family is virtually illiterate believing that women are destined to marry and procreate, otherwise our lives would be uneventful whatever we succeed at. However, I feel I am a big failure! Thinking of how many years I spent in learning and preparing. The exertion I did and the seclusion I preferred in order to concentrate on and absorb another language.
Yes. I have become more positive stopped thinking of my past life and its regrets. Yes. I have become more magnanimous towards who/what is different believing that it is the creator’s will to create us in such a way and it is amusing to live among others as long as no one transgresses. Yes. I have become down to earth and stopped bragging about anything as they are ephemera and I only contribute to their existence without possessing them. I am indebted to everyone who has taught me intentionally or unintentionally, kindly or insolently, willingly or not. I would never be who I am without you. Yes. I would resemble my people in my periphery and their simplicity, but simplicity does not suit every phase we embark on especially that one of ambition and adventure. One step to retake IELTS, two months for GMAT, and time to let the story take wings and fly away. I deep down believe that I would be a student at a leading university soon and inspire others to get rid of shackles, mirage, and obsolete traditions.
I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretence, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.
Everything looks disappointing and overwhelming, but I incline to optimism and diligence as hard work pays off undoubtedly! Relics, nepotism, intermediaries, critiques, scrutiny, corruption, intrusion, perversion, gossips, plots, etc are transient and would never last or Hurt us!
Remember me in your prayers and du’a as I feel paralyzed. I need resourcefulness to move ahead with peace.
Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.
48 laws of power
I am studying and planning to take IELTS test finally! In mock tests I get scores between 7.5-8/9 which is utterly startling and outstanding for someone who has learnt English from scratch and on my own as I was insolvent and unemployed. My life has become eventful full of enthusiasm and determination. My lord, I have the toolkit to climb up the ladder. Thankfully, I received your lessons early as they have been the psychological base not to prance around showing off your rewards and blessings. I am in the midway through this journey not insolvent and still unable to serve others. I am successful but not one of the big cheese to be influential. My lord I know you will grant me all what I am longing for. My lord I know that life never tarries with yesterday, so I have stopped thinking of my past as it was a guru. Wish me luck as I get support from you guys! 🌻
Before the end of the year, I want to share my online library with you. There are some books I read in 2019, and others will be finished in the new year. Human beings can not fully understand by rote. We have to mindfully read and serve who need help. Welcome to my walled garden and thorny subjects.
I would like to thank you for your support and kindness. This blog has become my guru to sift out fallacies.
I use anybooks application and download whatever I want to read.