Savour Everything

I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me, too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.

Frida Kahlo





Discern Well My Fellows!

Grief is the most peculiar thing; we’re so helpless in the face of it. It’s like a window that will simply open of its own accord. The room grows cold, and we can do nothing but shiver. But it opens a little less each time, and a little less; and one day we wonder what has become of it.
― Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha.

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There Is No Paradise on Earth

The point of this language of “intention” and “personal responsibility” is broad exoneration. Mistakes were made. Bodies were broken. People were enslaved. We meant well. We tried our best. “Good intention” is a hall pass through history, a sleeping pill that ensures the Dream.
Ta-Nehisi Coates

George Floyd astounds me as I thought Khaled Saeed; the Egyptian George would never be seen in the greatest nation as it is only ours. Thrusting and Smacking human beings happen only to Arabs where order is woven in the tapestry of life. I know well that there is no paradise on earth, but at least your racism is not blind and somehow even-handed! Hopefully, your cries and revolution will not be attempted and light will be awaiting for you at the end of the tunnel to breathe freely. Life is in pairs, so every beginning has an end; sometimes it blossoms, and sometimes calamity is only a spur to evolve!

Street Sign Tolerance versus Rassism
Wall Graffiti the Direction Way to Tolerance versus Rassism

Even Covid19 Has Pros And Cons.

Develop in your heart the feeling of love for your people and let it be the source of kindliness and blessing to them. Do not behave with them like a barbarian, and do not appropriate to yourself that which belongs to them. Remember that the citizens of the state are of two categories. They are either your brethren in religion or your brethren in kind. They are subject to infirmities and liable to commit mistakes.Imam Ali

Look how inert we are today because of covid19. It is a lesson to value everything and to reshuffle our priorities. Instead of wars, missiles, bombs, factions, brutality, etc, we are in a battle with a domineering and an imponderable organism which will overturn a lot of things after its disappearance. Consternation has become our company walking side by side when we go out or talk to people and this is a great lesson to value reassurance.


As an Arab woman who belongs to a bigoted family and tribal roots, I know well the meaning of paralysis, the bitterness of stillness for more than seven years, but to witness it globally is unexpected. Covid19 is much better than human beings as it is even-handed inflicting princes, ministers, inmates, and vagabonds. Covid19 is blind catapulting whites, blacks, monotheists, and atheists!Ironically, I am blossoming mentally and emotionally because I am making some progress at work. Scourges were spurs to forge ahead with my plans, The pandemic will be a spur too to redress our mistakes as human beings.

we should do away with all forms we inherited from the past which clamp themselves like chains around our wrists, feet, spirit, thoughts, will and vision.

I am a daughter of an illiterate woman who devoted herself to raise me and my siblings to become lawyers, a doctor, and a banker. I thank that woman for giving me what she was deprived of. I and my sister would face the same destiny of Nujood Ali. In the upper of Egypt, concubinage is still happening in the name of traditions and customs.

Thankfully, my mother was unintentionally a reformer who wanted to moved forward without toppling down others’ pedestals or statues until we safely passed by. Within a few days my mother will turn 51 years old and I have promised her to travel together but covid19 has become the master. It was a long break and I invested it in work and reading some books about women, misogyny, religions, and I found out a great book “Fatima is Fatima, Ali Shariati” and here are some mesmerising quotes from the book,

“They try to explain social traditions, which have come into being through habit, in religious terms. Ancient customs cannot be retained by the force of religion for if this were so, it would mean that religion is mortal. When we equate religion and social traditions, we make Islam the guardian of declining forms of life and society. We mistake cultural and historical phenomena with inherited, superstitious beliefs. Time comes along, and as it moves in haste, it changes habits, forms of life, social relationships, indigenous, historical phenomena and ancient, cultural signs. We mistakenly believe the Islamic religion to be these social traditions. Aren’t these great errors being committed today? Aren’t we seeing them with our own eves?”

“My father chose my name, and my last name was chosen by my ancestors. That’s enough, I myself choose my way.”

I apologise for the delay in answering your messages and emails as I was super busy. It was a long break, so I do not know if you still remember me or still interested in reading my blog!

Stay safe and blessed!

This Is For India

tattoo history - images of christian tattoos - history of religious tattoos and tattooing worldwide641574609..jpeg
So the history of the modern state can also be read as the history of race, bringing together the stories of two kinds of victims of European political modernity: the internal victims of state building and the external victims of imperial expansion. Hannah Arendt noted this in her monumental study on the Holocaust, which stands apart for one reason: rather than talk about the uniqueness of the Holocaust, Arendt sited it in the imperial history of genocide. The history she sketched was that of European settlers killing off native populations. Arendt understood the history of imperialism through the workings of racism and bureaucracy, institutions forged in the course of European expansion into the non-European world: “Of the two main political devices of imperialist rule, race was discovered in South Africa, and bureaucracy in Algeria, Egypt and India.” Hannah Arendt’s blind spot was the New World. Both racism and genocide had occurred in the American colonies earlier than in South Africa. The near decimation of Native Americans through a combination of slaughter, disease, and dislocation was, after all, the first recorded genocide in modern history.

Those are Mahmood Mamdani’s words. My prayers and supplications for India and all the oppressed!

London Mosque And Germany

At the beginning I thought Arabs and especially Egyptians were the only bigoted and reactionaries. Christians celebrate their feast among weapons and armoured vehicles allegedly to protect them! Protect them from whom? Another monotheist? Strange!

O people, we created you all from a male and female
And made you into different communities and different tribes
So that you should come to know one another
Acknowledging that the most noble among you
Is the one most aware of God

Allah wants us to be different to coexist. I believe that our dilemma as Arabs is homogeneity. We look the same, have only one religion, and only one denomination “Sunni”. I am longing for that melting pot to know one another as vicegerents instilling peace not the opposite.

Unfortunately, I was mistaken as it is not only our issue. New Zealand mosque shooting was a proof. Today’s news about London mosque and Germany was another proof of our animalistic instinct and superficiality. Why do we want to despoil humanity of this planet? What do you gain from stabbing people while they are worshipping Allah? We, monotheists, pray to soothe our pain as everyone is treading in their path with its ups and downs. To be able to be in others’ shoes, we should pray, fast, give alms, etc!

A couple of days ago, I got furious because someone posted a moment describing the piety of her friend. Her friend detached herself away from any technology. She eats only rice and bread to value blessings well. She does not mingle with men as it is against her creed. I was amazed because Portraying religions and faith in such a way of solitude and austerity is totally wrong! We are not meant to exist in this world to avoid it or cocoon ourselves. We are here to coexist as vicegerents. There is repentance to tell us how merciful Allah is as he always accepts us. We should always consider the day of reckoning by working hard for it not by flogging ourselves.

Don’t choose to be an ultra because someday you will give up on this in an indelible way. Religions exist to dispense justice, peace, and welfare. Please contribute to this and never stand still concocting superficial excuses regarding your faith.

At the end I abhor politics, its endless covetousness, and its media outlets. The condition of our humanity is full-blown and dreary!

From A Caterpillar To A Butterfly!

   After a couple of hours I will turn 29 years old, but I consider myself  a toddler who is still stumbling. Currently, I need nothing but Allah’s boon to keep getting up at 4 am to study for GMAT on my own. I always say that I am a free spirit with some bruises and gashes. A wanderer who gets throbbed and thrusted by life many times. A woman who has everything simple except her goals in this world. A woman who deep down believes in her self-aggrandisement after savouring life’s bitterness.

    Order is not woven in the tapestry of life. DNA is fallacy. Puritanism is the other side of illiteracy. Misogyny shows well that you are in a state of stupor. Your chauvinism has turned that place into a dystopian society.

   It is my birthday and my first-year blogging as well. I have been writing for a year. This blog helped me vent what I felt then. It was a good means instead of crying and cursing everything around. You do not know how grateful I am for your unexpected support. Finally, I am working on my last goal to better my life then I will definitely be able to help. That butterfly is still dwelling into her cocoon but out of preparation not docility. You have to duck and digest those feelings of failure and loss well. They are the spurs to blossom.

Happy New Year and may Allah shower your lives with happiness, contentment, and prosperity! My apologies for the delay in replying but I am super busy even I do not get enough sleep. Excuse me please!

Welcome To My Walled Garden

Before the end of the year, I want to share my online library with you. There are some books I read in 2019, and others will be finished in the new year. Human beings can not fully understand by rote. We have to mindfully read and serve who need help. Welcome to my walled garden and thorny subjects.

I would like to thank you for your support and kindness. This blog has become my guru to sift out fallacies.

I use anybooks application and download whatever I want to read.

Enjoy and do not forget to share yours with us!

Homosexaulity In Islam And From A Scientific Perspective.

     In the beginning I hesitated a lot before I wrote this post, but denial would never solve any problems. There are many taboos in the Middle East and one of them is sex. Sex is thorny and ambiguous. Nonetheless, the majority are ignorant of the anatomy of their private parts.

      Ten years ago, gays were a laughing stock, especially in movies; feminine appearance with gruff voice would definitely laugh the audience. For instance, a guy who was a successful director, but due to his inclination, he has lost everything. Once, he appeared as a belly dancer and we know well how appealing the belly dancer should be. It was humiliating and sarcastic as ordinary people were unable to fathom such creature. His end was dramatic as he committed suicide, and then his family refused to bury him!

      Little by little, the destination has dwindled due to the existence of social media. Social media are the conduit for those people’s feelings and thoughts. Recently, a Palestinian man who is a big fan of Haifa Wehbe; a Lebanese diva. He has even named  after her “Haifa Magic” after his sex reassignment surgery. A sexy woman is popping up on the social media, but when he speaks, people get freaked out! Within a few months, Haifa got millions of followers on Instagram watching her coquettish dancing. Now, she has her own cosmetic line with a chain of markets in Lebanon, Tunisia, Egypt, Palestine, and some countries in the gulf, showing off her handsome boyfriend with no fear before millions!

     In Islam, Christianity, and Judaism; homosexaulity is prohibited and sinful. Life is in pairs and we are only two genders. Therefore, different inclination would be reprehensible and mind-boggling. I tried to do my research and thankfully found “Homosexaulity in Islam” book as enlightenment is the only guru with carte blanche amongst this cruelty and superficiality.
“O people, we created you all from a male and female And made you into different communities and different tribes So that you should come to know one another Acknowledging that the most noble among you Is the one most aware of God”  
   A Quranic verse is the prologue elucidating Allah’s will in making us different including males, females, and allegedly LGBT with different tongues, colour, and continents. The author insists on making difference between faith and religious traditions as we are living in a patriarchal society where women’s and minorities’ rights are marginalized. As the political war began after prophet Mohammad’s death, Arabs returned to keep slaves even though the Qur’an urged them to free slaves. They began acting as patriarchs even though the Islam declared the moral equality of men and women. They began living in luxury even though the Qur’an warns against the hoarding of wealth.

Within a few generations, the Muslims’ experimental commonwealth of liberation became an empire that rivaled Rome. The Qur’anic message of liberation was interpreted as an Islamic charter for domination.     What is going on now, reportedly, is a result of the Iranian revolution in 1978 and subsequent oil crisis detailing western assumption about economic progress, slowly pushing secular advances out of the spotlight and casting attention on to religion. These events first pushed the West into uneasy alliances with Sunni fundamentalists and extremists, from the Wahhabi monarchies of the Gulf states to the Mujahideen and Taliban forces in Afghanistan. The first Gulf War revealed how flimsy that alliance was, as Muslim extremists turned against the U.S. and its allies, globalizing their revolt against local monarchies and authoritarian regimes that tried to rule by a balance of religious rhetoric and secular stability.

    It is clear how sinful sodomy is in the holy scriptures, but the author narrated an incident as a pretext to refute his convictions when the fourth caliph Imam ‘Ali faced Khariji rebels who insisted that he simply “apply” the Qur’an’s judgment without interpretation. In that situation of armed conflict, Imam ‘Ali gathered the people and brought out a copy of the Qur’an and as he touched the book he exclaimed, “O Qur’an, speak to the people!” The people gathered around ‘Ali, saying, “O ‘Ali, do you mock us? It is only paper and ink and it is we [human beings] who speak on its behalf.” To this, ‘Ali stated, “The Qur’an is written in straight lines between two covers. It does not speak by itself. It needs proper interpreters, and the interpreters are human beings.

   There was an intriguing part in the book when the author confirmed that each religion and its teachings nullify the erstwhile one as there is only an islamic verse talking about tribe of Lot and their acts of transgression, rape, gambling, not only sodomy.  He also alleged that homosexaulity was forbidden because of the extinction of human beings, not because of the act itself as prophet Mohammad never punished or killed any gays. There was a man with dyed hands and feet mimicking the women’s style was brought before our prophet, who banished him from Medina to a place called al-Naqi‘ several miles outside the oasis city. When some of the Prophet’s companions asked if it were better to kill the “mukhannath” gay, the Prophet is reported to have said, “I have been forbidden to kill those who pray.”

    Jurists and theologians began to argue that faith is not an either/or option: Muslims should not kill others who disagree with them, over religious or political questions, with impunity. Rather, they argued, faith could grow or wane in the heart, but a Muslim who sins or errs should not be dogmatically banished or summarily killed. They advocated the idea that laws, based on the will of God as expressed in revelation and the Prophet’s example, should govern human affairs and restrain sectarian violence. Their arguments gave rise to the notion that there were only a limited number of specifically grave crimes. These were called hadd because they transgressed the “boundary” laid down by God’s explicit revelation, which called for grave corporal or capital punishment of a Muslim. Otherwise, a Muslim’s blood was sacrosanct by her or his verbal profession of faith or basic demonstration of participation in rituals.

    Again the author tried to prove human beings’ misinterpretation giving an example when Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet Muhammad had said, “Three things bring bad luck – house, woman and horse.” Upon hearing this, the Prophet’s wife ‘A’isha responded, “Abu Hurayra learned his lessons very badly. He came into our house when the Prophet was in the middle of a sentence. He only heard the end of it. What the Prophet said was, ‘May God refute the Jews [who] say that three things bring bad luck: house, woman and horse.’”32 On the issue of female impurity during menstruation, hadith that cited Judaic customs to refute them were cut or interrupted in order to have their meaning reversed, so that Muslims would revert to Judaic attitudes and behaviors. Although this time ‘A’isha was present to contradict the mis-remembering, we can assume that in most instances she was not. Through hadith and jurists’ decisions based upon them, Judaic and pre-Islamic attitudes crept back into Islam.

    Moreover, They asked him about coitus interruptus, and the Prophet answered, ‘It is hidden infanticide.’” Here the Prophet appears to confirm the Judaic belief that for a man to ejaculate without using “his seed” for procreation amounts to a concealed way of killing his own children, which is a crime against his people and an abomination in the land. However, another hadith recalled by a different companion, Abu Sa’id, relates the same episode but says that someone said to the Prophet that “‘The Jews say that coitus interruptus is minor infanticide,’ and the Prophet answered, ‘The Jews lie, for if God wanted to create something, no one can avert it.’”33 In this incident the Prophet cited Judaic custom only to refute it, but some hadith transmitters recalled only that portion of the speech which cited the Judaic custom and deleted the refutation. This distorted report, for instance, led Ibn Hazm to declare contraception illegal in Islamic law, for he believed it meant killing an infant, in contradiction to the majority of other schools of jurisprudence which allowed it (but which debated whether the man had to have the explicit consent of his female partner in order to use a contraceptive technique, or it was his right to do so even without her consent).

    Finally, the author purported that Jurists focus on acts alone, and do not comprehensively address the modern notion of homosexuality as a sexual orientation, a psychological disposition, or an identity as it is based on love and mutual consent without any transgression or threat!

    As we all know that knowledge is safety and science is its fruit, therefore reading “DNA is not destiny, sex and orientation” chapter in particular was definitely a must and came up with these!

  •   People think sex is homogeneous and discrete as upon your arrival into this world, the first statement that was probably uttered to describe you was to announce your sex. The term “sex” generally refers to biological differences between men and women that encompass chromosomes, hormonal patterns, and sex organs, whereas the term “gender” refers to social roles masculine or feminine that a person may identify with.

In fact, that issues of gay and lesbian rights have sometimes been used to motivate social conservatives to get out and vote, as was done in the United States with the issue of same-sex marriage in 2004.  
  •   Two ongoing wars, dramatic changes to tax policies, and the privatization of social security, were not enough to motivate some to the voting booth—for many, only the gay and lesbian rights issue upset them enough to vote. By some estimates, George W. Bush would not have been elected to a second term without the issue of same-sex marriage being on the ballot in the state of Ohio.33 And it’s not just in the United States that homophobia remains widespread; Vladimir Putin sparked international outcry by criminalizing “gay propaganda”

  •   A version of the experiment above has also played out in real life. In 1993, the geneticist Dean Hamer published evidence that a genetic marker was linked to male homosexuality. His team was studying a sample of gay men, and the researchers asked the participants about the sexual orientation of their relatives. The responses indicated that only certain relatives of the maternal, not paternal, uncles were gay, and more of their cousins who were sons of maternal aunts were gay than were their other cousins. This pattern suggests that men’s sexual orientation might be associated with the X chromosome, which men receive exclusively from their mothers, and share with their brothers, maternal uncles, and male cousins of their maternal aunts. And, indeed, by analyzing the DNA of 40 pairs of gay brothers, Hamer’s team identified a genetic marker on the X chromosome of these men, Xq28 (a region that contains several genes), that looked like it might possibly predict sexual orientation. Specifically, 33 of the 40 pairs of gay brothers had similar genetic variants along Xq28, whereas only 20 pairs would have been expected to share these by chance. The strength of this association was rather modest, there were no specific genes identified, and the authors of the paper were quite careful in highlighting just how tentative and ambiguous their findings were. But this was still the first published evidence of a specific genetic marker associated with homosexuality. So how did people respond to this weak and tentative scientific finding?

  •   On the other hand, the controversial radio host Bryan Fischer argued against the genetics of homosexuality by questioning the validity of the heritability of sexual orientation from twin studies. He pointed out that for identical twins, “If one of them is gay and it’s genetically caused, the other one ought to be gay one hundred percent of the time!”48 Because this is clearly not the case a gay identical twin shares the sexual orientation of his brother somewhere between 30 percent to 50 percent of the time—Fischer saw this as evidence to refute the argument that sexual orientation has a genetic component.

  • One possible mechanism for this is that perhaps genes associated with male homosexuality are actually genes that increase your androphilia that is, your attraction to men so that female relatives of gay men, who possess these same genes, may be especially androphilic, and this would make them more likely to reproduce. And there is some evidence to suggest this is true: for example, one study found that the maternal female relatives of gay men had significantly more children than the maternal female relatives of straight men.54 The genes of gay men might thus thrive because of their unusually fertile sisters.

  • When women are pregnant with a son, they produce some antimale antibodies as an immune response to the male-specific antigens linked to the Y chromosome. This immune response builds with each successive male fetus, such that later-born sons are bathed in a womb full of these antibodies, which some have hypothesized may affect their later sexual preferences.58 In fact, there is abundant evidence that men who have a lot of older brothers are more likely to be gay. Ray Blanchard, a psychiatrist, found that for every older brother a man has, he is 33 percent more likely to be gay, and this relation has been observed in several countries around the world. If you extrapolate from this evidence, then the rare man who has ten older brothers would have about a 50-50 chance of being gay.

  • A key psychoanalytic theory about homosexuality is that gay men tend to have had overcontrolling and smothering mothers who acted seductively toward them, and fathers who remained detached or hostile toward them.

  • The social psychologists Nick Haslam and Sheri Levy found that essence-based beliefs about homosexuality had three distinct clusters. The first cluster was a belief that homosexuality was biologically based and immutable, and the second cluster was a belief that homosexuality was universal across history and cultures. For both of these two clusters, believing in an underlying essence of homosexuality was associated with less antigay prejudice. The third cluster was a belief that homosexuality was discrete—that is, a belief that there are clear differences between gay and straight people. However, the more that people believed in this particular essentialist basis of homosexuality, the more prejudiced they were against gay people.

  • Thinking that genes influence people’s sexual orientation led many people to propose that eugenic technologies could be used to prevent people with genes that predispose them toward homosexuality from ever being born. A former chief rabbi of the UK, Rabbi Jakobovits, wrote in a pair of letters to the Times that homosexuality was “a grave departure from the natural norm which we are charged to overcome like any other affliction, genetic or not,” and argued that “the errant gene” should be “removed or repaired,” to liberate the afflicted from their “disability.”

   At the end, the web of forces that make some men gay, and the majority of others straight, are part of a complex interaction involving many genes, the potential involvement of epigenetic markers that guide their expression,70 prenatal experiences in the womb, and the collective influences of life experiences along the path of development. Your sexuality is the product of the interplay among all of these factors.

Hopefully, this article will be useful and sorry but I could not curtail it!

A Parable

A Persian, a Turk, an Arab and a Greek are traveling to a distant land when they begin arguing over how to spend the single coin they share in common. The Persian wants to spend the coin on angur; the Turk, on uzum; the Arab, on inab; and the Greek, on stafil.

A linguist passing by overhears the argument. “Give the coin to me,” he says. Taking the coin, the linguist goes to a nearby shop and buys the travelers four small bunches of grapes.

“This is my angur!” cries the Persian.

“But this is what I call uzum,” replies the Turk.

“You have brought me my inab,” the Arab says.

“No! This in my language is stafil,” says the Greek.

The travelers suddenly realize that they were all asking for the same thing, but in different languages.

No god but God.