Another Realm

And say, my lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small

Quran

My father has passed away. He had leukemia and his condition was critical in the last month. I feel ambivalent about the end of his suffering from cancer and his disappearance. I would never forget the last month and his pain as he had lost much weight and become paralysed. Our relationship had been lukewarm, but during the last two months, I was doing my best to buoy him and lighten his worries. Filial instinct pops up in such situations eradicating all the differences in personalities and our interests.

Father; you will be missed and I have nothing towards you but love, peace, relief, contentment, compassion, and longing. I am indebted to you and will always be for the rest of my life. Without your presence in my life, providing me with money and safe house, I would never be able to evolve and be the one who I am today. I wish you overstayed to witness our happen days and success, but monotheists believe in the afterlife, so your body perished but your soul is amongst us. I love you Baba I love you so much habibi.

12 thoughts on “Another Realm

  1. My condolences on your loss. My brother died of cancer some years ago and watching his decline was very sad. When he finally passed was a very conflicted day. Happy for his release. Sad for all that was left unsaid.

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  2. I too struggled in my relationship with my parents. We were estranged for a time. But, we reconciled in the last year of my mother’s life, though it remained as you describe your own relationship, “lukewarm.” I very much identify with the “filial instinct” that leaves you forever wanting your parents’ approval and needing a validating close relationship with them.
    I was especially moved by your declaration to your father, “Father; you will be missed and I have nothing towards you but love, peace, relief, contentment, compassion, and longing. I am indebted to you and will always be for the rest of my life.” That statement mirrors my own sentiments in my mother’s passing in 2018 and in my father’s passing just this past December.
    I commiserate with you on your loss and hope you are surrounded by people who love you and lift you up.

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  3. God bless you and your family through this very difficult period! I want you to consider what is said in these Holy Scriptures that gave me great solace when I had just left the hospital where a greatly beloved family member just died! God made sure when I got home that my bible opened to this one page with these Scripture as soon as I opened the Bible and I was praying asking God in Jesus Christ to help me see and understand!
    “1Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe in Me as well. 2In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4
    “15If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. 16And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever— 17the “Spirit of truth.” The world cannot receive Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you do know Him, for He abides with you and will be in you.” John 14:15-17
    John 14:26 “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have told you.”
    John 15:26 “When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father–the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father–He will testify about Me.”
    The Advocate is also called the “Comforter” in these Holy Words of God. Amen.
    Brother in Christ Jesus,
    Lawrence
    https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Inspirational-Images/large/John_14-3.jpg

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  4. My condolences on your father’s passing. The way I see it, Our parents teach us amid their oncoming death how we will approach our own realization of life’s end. That’s what I’m trying to concentrate on as my 95 year old mother slides physically.

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