Marriage, From Mercy To A Cruel Bargain!

In Arab world, family cohesion is a hallmark. However, I am deep down convinced it is not cohesion, but rather a dominion. I know well generalisation is ludicrous to classify this magnificent relationship between parents and their offsprings as an irony fist having the upper hand over everything around , but it is the reality especially where poverty and ignorance are embedded . In Egypt, for instance, divorce rate has been dramatically increasing recently. There are many reasons for this matter.

First and foremost, marriage costs vast amount of money which a middle class man may spend years and decades to make this money. Therefore, parents’ help has become a must to see their grandchildren someday. As most of families fond of showing off making others talk about how much money they spend on the wedding party, dress, banquets, gold, etc. In Islam, marriage is based on love and serenity, but human psyches have converted this sacred connection into a miserable bargain. After wedding parties, parents never stop bragging of how much money they spend since this backwards of making comparison with others. The proof of better lineage is unfortunately based on luxurious appearances, not morals nor education.

Secondly, the bride and her groom decide to marry because they have to marry now not because they want. She should marry to not be called a spinster after a couple of years. He mostly wants to prove his manhood, has children, and so on.

Finally, any quarrel between spouses requires their parents’ interference since they are the funders of this marriage resulting in the most biased judgements. I know some married people who got divorced and their ex-husbands abandoned their parental instinct ensued. Love of grown-ups is genuinely different from that of drama and movies. We, women are affectionate seeking others’ attention all the time as the community ask you to complement the portrait if you were repulsive on your own. Thus, this void will consistently insist on you to fill it with any trash coming across.

As far as I am concerned that as long as your marriage is funded by parents, your familial project is inevitably destructive. In my home, they build houses instead of relationships. They lay down presents, and banquets instead of mercy and acceptance. They care about the furniture quality more than the two persons’ matching and humanity. Marriage is much simpler than this loathsome maze. I wish I get married to a companion with my own money and decisions away from these disgusting norms.

14 Comments

  1. Wow, good job. Below are some fixes and observations. See what you think!

    In Arab world, family cohesion is a hallmark. However, I am deep down convinced it is not cohesion, but rather a sponsorship [ I think a clearer word choice is possible]. I know well that it is ludicrous to generalize this magnificent relationship between parents and their offsprings as a stake [a stake? reconsider this word], but it is plain as day how things have changed [since when?]. In Egypt, for instance, the divorce rate has been dramatically increasing recently. There are many reasons for this. First and foremost, marriage costs vast amount of money which a middle class man may spend years or even decades to earn. Therefore, parents’ help has become a must if they are to have any chance of seeing their grandchildren someday. As such, most families are fond of showing off and making others talk about how much money they spend on the wedding party, dress, banquets, gold, etc. In Islam, marriage is based on love and serenity, but the human psyche have converted this sacred connection into a miserable bargain [great sentence!]. After wedding parties, parents never stop bragging about how much money they spend since this retardation [remember why I told you not to say this?] of competing with others. The proof of better lineage is unfortunately based on luxurious appearances, not morals nor education [fantastic sentence and sadly true]. In the modern era, the bride and her groom decide to marry because they have to marry not because they want to. She should marry so as to not be called a spinster after a couple of years. As for the man, he mostly wants to prove his manhood by bearing as many children as possible. Finally, any quarrel between spouses requires their parents’ interference since they are the funders of the marriage. But far from being effective mediators, parents often tend to produce the most biased judgements. I know some married people who got divorced and their ex-husbands disowned their paternal instinct ensued (this sentence needs some fixing). Love is genuinely different from what we see depicted in drama and movies. We women are affectionate seeking others’ attention all the time as society asks us to complement the portrait as if we were repulsive on our own. Thus, society will always insist that we fill this void with whatever trash we come across first. As far as I am concerned, as long as your marriage is funded by parents, your family life is doomed to dysfunction. In my home (yours personally?), they build houses instead of relationships. They lay down presents, and banquets instead of mercy and acceptance. They care about the furniture quality more than the couple’s compatibility and humanity. Marriage is much simpler than this loathsome maze. I wish I get married to a similar crony (change “a similar crony”!) with my own money and make decisions independent from these disgusting norms.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so true. It also happens in African cultures that marriages are pressured and so what controlled by parents if they have contributed to the wedding. Many are not materialistic but I sometimes feel like parents expect the groom to be wealthy so that he can provide for everyone who is in “need” and a young woman must prove how much of a woman she is by being able to give birth, especially to a male child and how much of a domestic slave she can be.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Gehad, I really enjoyed reading your post. It is interesting how the world over women (and men) are pressured into being a couple. It is as if it is not okay to just be yourself. I wonder if societies will ever reach that place where being single is okay. Why can’t we just be free to be ourselves? I guess that is an impossible question to answer in a way. Your post is very thought-provoking.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Jenny, I really appreciate your compliment and comment on my blog. The formula consists of two things which are ignorance + isolation= other’s dominion over women. We are not in a competition with men, but rather in affinity with them. We have to get rid of the useless relics of societies, then tread our own paths whether we get our partners’ support or it’s a solo journey. What matters is our self-aggrandisement.

      Like

  4. Thank you for this blog post. It is very thought provoking, as Jenny said. Being from America, I had no idea how marriages in other countries come to be. Marriage should be based on love for sure. I hope you find your love one day and are able to marry based on that.

    Liked by 1 person

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