I will be turning 28 within two days without any exhilaration though. I have decided to write and open up now because I am deep down sure that everything is going to change and be much better, so I want to have a look and be thankful then!
I celebrate my birthday in the beginning of the year. However, I do not celebrate nor eat out. I rather plop down on my couch counting my achievements, mistakes, new friends, wailing, regretting, planning, etc!
In 2018 I was trying to put up with difficulties and detested things more that anything else. I quit dead-end job because of people I thought they were friends, but I was mistaken as usual. I have learnt that cutting off toxic people is mandatory to keep living healthy. I have learnt that we should not share our dreams with people who can’t understand them. I have learnt the importance of keeping people at arm’s length until they prove the opposite. I have learnt that no one deserves our patience and chances as long as we are not in their’s debt. I have learnt lots of things not to be under misappropriation anymore. Thus, I am thankful for your existence in my life.
I do not feel anything in particular before I turn 28 because I quit on living my whole life to master one thing three years ago. When I was 25 years old full of vitality, thinking of that brilliant future,and having a job lined up due to my high GPA. Nonetheless, it was all in vain without any exaggeration. I am grateful for these out of control obstacles as I thought in the beginning. They were the infrastructures to build up my new self with different outlooks. Without these blessings as I call them now, I would be an employee with Pennies in the governmental sector with that narrow-mindedness and fences since we humankind seek out protection when we grow fragile and insecure.
I shall not celebrate this year since I have not reaped anything yet. Celebration is held for a reason and I have not any at least now. I feel I am melancholic, disappointed, and somehow astray, but it always happens when things are about to change on our behalves.
My first piece of writing, the darkest but not the last one💫
To be continued!